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Reach out and rub someone: Finding fleshly pleasures on the 'netBy Tom GellerBe sure to see related sidebars on:When The Net's Managing Editor called me about putting together a list of Internet sex sites, I wondered aloud why she thought of me. "Christ, Minda, I can't even find sex in San Francisco. Can't you get Crystal to do it? She likes sex." But she had seen something in my eyes -- desperation, I guess -- that told her that I'd know where the goods were, even if I was too shy to admit it. And she was right. The truth is, I'm part of the huge, hidden population that uses electronic communications to find love, romance, and youknowtherest. Just how big is this community of love- and lust-seekers? Well, a 1994 paper by Jupiter Communications about America Online usage reported that over 40% of users' time online was spent in chat, e-mail, and bulletin boards. And if you spend any time in AOL's Member Chat rooms (Keyword: Chat) or the Romance bulletin boards (Keyword: Romance), you know that they're not exactly discussing medieval art. While the percentage of people engaging in sex chat is probably a little lower on the Internet at large, the sex-related newsgroups enjoy positions at the apex of popularity. According to Usenet Arbitron results available at http://www.tlsoft.com/arbitron, five of the ten most-read groups are sex-related, with alt.sex being surpassed only by news.announce.newusers. And when you calculate the number of bytes that pass through the groups, it's no contest: 21 of the 40 "heaviest" groups exist for the trade of erotic graphics. But enough of these dry statistics -- let's get us some action! The sites listed below are judged on five criteria:
Community, Education and HealthWeb pagesQueer Resources Directoryhttp://www.qrd.org/qrdThere's nothing as valuable to society as a good librarian, and Internet-based projects have developed quite a few talents to a point of high professionalism. There's the Gutenberg Project, the Library of Congress Online, the CityNet system.. and ranking up there with these gems of Web wisdom is the Queer Resources Directory. The collaborative effort of dozens of contributors, it includes megabytes of documents concerning lesbian/gay/bi/transsexual issues, from AIDS to workplace discrimination to underage sex to legislative contacts to lesbian history to.. well, you name it. A valuable reference guide.
Transgender Forumhttp://www.zoom.com/personal/cindym/indextg.htmlOne aspect about transsexual culture is that transsexuals often take special pains to hide their status: they wish that they had been born in their chosen sex, and reminders that they weren't can be particularly painful. As a result, they often don't meet locally, and transsexual community has grown through international channels instead, via magazines like Tapestry, pen-pal schemes, and the like. Transgender Forum is an excellent translation of that world-wide community to the web. Embracing the concerns of both transsexuals (people born as the "wrong" sex) and transvestites (cross-dressers), this lavishly-illustrated site includes linked resource listings, shopping tips, art, archives of relevant texts, and much more. Welcome home!
The World Sex Guidehttp://www.paranoia.com/faq/prostitution/index.htmlA friend of mine lives a few blocks away, in the gritty-yet-fashionable neighborhood known as the Upper Haight. We met several years ago at a convention and since then have enjoyed an occasional cup of coffee, chance meeting, and party together. She and I live similar lives: we're both college-educated freelancers, both published authors, and we both enjoy varied sex lives. But while I have sex for fun and write for a living, my friend is a professional whore. The fact is, prostitutes are much-maligned because so many people deny their existence. Think there are no prostitutes in your city? Stroll on over to The World Sex Guide, information about prostitution, by and for prostitutes (and their customers). The all-text site features articles about the calling (including limericks!), links to other sex-related sites and -- most impressive of all -- a compendium of news about prostitution in dozens of countries, compiled from postings in the newsgroup alt.sex.prostitution.
NewsgroupsThe following groups, arranged in descending order of popularity, offer a place to ponder sex and romance among like-minded people. These are not "cruise groups": if you'd like those, see the alt.sex hierarchy, listed under "Hot Talk" resources. "Traffic" is for comparative purposes only, and shows the number of posts that passed through the newsgroup within a two-to-three- day period.
MediaWeb pagesAnnie Sprinkle Onlinehttp://www.infi.net/~heck/sprinkleshow.htmlIf ever there was a multidisciplinarian in the porn world, Annie Sprinkle is it. Starting off as a hooker and dancer, she's gone on to model, photograph, write, appear in films, and produce one-woman shows (in which the audience enjoys a thorough, hands-on tour of her cervix). Her recent publication of photo playing cards has sold like crazy, spreading the fame of 56 important "pleasure activists." In short, this woman is cool, and her site reflects her abundant playfulness and spirituality -- although some self-censorship is at work here, too (why are all the nipples bowdlerized?) And yep, you can see the famous cervix here, too!
FaT GiRL magazinehttp://www.fatgirl.comFor years, lesbians have celebrated a release from the tyranny of male ideas about beauty. But what many fat dykes found when they came out was that women could be just as pig-headed about such things as men are. FaT GiRL is a new sort of celebration: a feisty, enthusiastic, genuine 'zine all about "fat dykes and the women who want them." The web site includes excerpts from the print version (to which I'm a subscriber and contributor, by the way), a feast of useful links, and a playful spirit that'll leave you with a smile on your face -- even if you like skinny girls. The animated title bar is a bit annoying, though.
Libido magazinehttp://www.indra.com/libidoLibido entered the market as something of an anomaly: a sexually explicit magazine in academic journal form. They sought out a niche back when they started about seven years ago, and their insistence on clean design, quality photography, intelligent commentary, and thoughtful writing has paid off. They are now publishing on online version (which is different from the print version) which carries on these fine traditions. Note that their servers seem to get bogged down pretty easily, and with over 5,000 people per day visiting this site, you may have to try a few times.
.net magazine "Filth" articlehttp://www.futurenet.co.uk/netmag/Issue3/SexFilth/filth.htmlHey, waittaminute! What's our British sister publication doing in this unsavory lineup? Well, long before The Net existed -- a year ago, to be precise -- the editors of .net decided to do a survey of sex sites for the VD-month issue. Of course, our survey is much better (ahem, ahem), but I'm sure those Brits have their own views on this sex thing: after all, Britannia is said to have grown rich on "rum, buggery, and the lash." Pass me a glass, would you?
Paramour magazinehttp://www2.xensei.com/paramourDo Bostonians actually have sex? Well, they talk about it a lot, that's for sure. They write poetry and they take pictures and they deconstruct its essence.. but do they get it on? I don't know, and Boston-based Paramour magazine isn't telling, either. The fiction is witty and creative, the photographs enticing (if indistinct), and the style an unmistakable mixture of the erotic and the repressed. Could it have come from anywhere else? In other words: if you're looking for graphic descriptions of intercourse, you won't find them here (unless you consider bees extracting nectar from flowers and the like to be high pornography). But if you appreciate the subtler side of sex, Paramour may be just what you're seeking. One minor technical flub: links do not indicate when you've already visited them.
Playboy magazinehttp://www.playboy.comFurther proof that sex sells -- as if proof is necessary -- the Playboy home page is one of the most-accessed World-Wide Web sites on the entire Internet, with tens of thousands of hits per day. For such a huge, popular, multi-million-dollar company, the site is pretty Spartan: just a few links to subscriber and contributor info, a catalog of items with the Playboy logo on it, and excerpts from the current issue. And, yes, the centerfold is there, too! There's also news about the Playboy organization, with some fascinating factoids. Did you know that the Playboy Foundation gives out over $10 million dollars per year to non-profit groups like the Planned Parenthood and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force? Well, now you do. Be sure to check out the "historical" Playboy as well, the 1976 issue in which then-President Jimmy Carter announced that he'd "committed adultery in my heart many times." Wonderful stuff. Pity they don't have a searchable index of past interviews.. but that would be asking too much. I'll just have to settle for the boobs.
SKIN TWO Onlinehttp://www.dungeon.com/~SkinTwoFirst, there is clothing. Then, there is tight clothing. Then, there is tight rubber clothing. When you get to "tight rubber clothing that's two sizes too small," you'll get an idea of the editorial content of SKIN TWO Online Webzine, the electronic expression of London's premier "fashion/fetish" club. It's a private organization, with dues and all, but non-members visiting the site will get a taste of what lurks behind the members-only icon. What do members get? I'm afraid I couldn't tell you: membership is $10/month ($75/year), and I'd just given the last of my money to the San Francisco Home for Nuns and Orphans when I came across this page. Shucks.
Newsgroups
Toy and Clothing StoresWeb pagesCyberpussyhttp://www.cyberpussy.comCyberpussy promises to be the "..ultimate World Wide Web site for Fantasy [women's] Clothing including Sportswear, Lingerie, and Fetish costume." And it has lots and lots of pictures of its products to prove it. But gosh, fellas, did you have to make the site so unattractive? Unreadable white type floats against a distracting purple background. The site (and the products) have limited appeal: all the models are white, and their "X-Large" size is 12-14. But it's the sort of thing you'll like if you like this sort of thing.
CyberSexToyshttp://www.webcom.com/~dml/sexIt's nice to see someone with a sense of humor in the commercial sex field, a field too often overrun with angry-looking women and self-deprecating men. David Levine's CyberSexToys (a division of his "Wicked Cool Mall," at http://www.wcool.com) is full of fun, from its colorful logo (above) to the diversity of its offerings. Where else will you find a penis-shaped white chocolate pacifier, anal lube, phone sex (at 1-800-NET-JERK) and inflatable sheep in the same place? In an interview in Web Review (http://gnn.com/gnn/wr/oct27/netwrld/tuesday.html), Mr. Levine reported: "When I got on the Internet, I originally wanted to do an art gallery, but no one cared. So I started CyberSexToys." Don't feel bad, David. I think it's art.
Panty-of-the-Month Clubhttp://jefferson.fairfield.com/pantiesI have to admit a strange, geeky reason for loving this site: the picture of the reclining model shown above is a high-resolution, interlaced GIF. Therefore, she appears on your screen as if in a dream: first hazy and indistinct, reminding you perhaps of a sweet tryst passed in foggy Seattle.. then she becomes more distinct, her smile more and more personal, her skin tones increasingly subtle and alive, she almost beckons.. God, I need to get out of the house more. Anyway, this is a pretty nice site, and a good deal more professionally done than many. I have one beef: except for a couple of pictures, the products are inexplicably displayed lying, lifelessly, on a table. Another marketing opportunity missed. Sizes are extremely limited.
Romantasy's Cyboutiquehttp://www.romantasy.comAs befits a "unique place for loving couples and romantic singles," Cyboutique is gorgeous. High-quality graphics laid against tasteful pastel hues accentuate the offerings from the San Francisco-based store Romantasy. There's actually very little selling here, with general information about sex-related products taking the place of the more common hard sell. Regular columns, exclusive to the Cyboutique, round out the pages nicely, and give a reason to keep coming back.
"Adult Art" (i.e. Feelthy Peectures)All right, there's no need to try to hide it.. this is really what you were after, right? Pictures of ladies all nekkid, hairy guys with that come-hither look, women who look disturbingly like your mother, dressed up in severe disciplinarian outfits.. these, my friends, are the bread and butter of Western Civilization. As a result, there are plenty of folks willing to offer up the goods -- for a price. There are e-mail schemes ("send me $5 to join the breast-graphic-of-the-month club!"), for-profit FTP sites, and web pages full of phone-sex ads which promise to deliver fulfillment if you'll only call, say, Mauritania.But there's no need to pony up your hard-earneds for a glimpse of skin. Networks of "amateurs" have been trading such pictures for the love of the sport since man first made graven images, and the Internet offers several new conduits for such exchanges. Primary among them is the newsgroup, and the groups listed below specialize in postings of graphics and sounds of a sexual nature. These files are found in a form called "UUEncode," so you'll need conversion programs to extract and view them.
NewsgroupsThese groups are listed in order of popularity, based on the number of files that were present in each group when I checked my Internet Service Provider's news server. You may be disappointed by groups which are listed as having fewer than 100 messages: unfortunately, sex-related groups are popular targets for vandals who fill the groups with irrelevant commercial messages and other detritus, with sometimes as many as 100 garbage messages per week.
Hot TalkSo you've discovered your affinity newsgroup. So you've bopped from web page to web page. So you've researched Catholic attitudes toward sex, found the address of your local swinger's club and written a nasty e-mail to Senator Exon. Are you starting to get an itch to talk to actual people about sex?You're in luck, because computer networks are nothing if not conduits for communities. The primary outlet for communities on the Internet is the newsgroup, but that's only the beginning: if you read any group for long, you'll eventually see notices about related mailing lists and other resources, if there are any. For example, a monthly posting to soc.bi points you to the Spouse Support Mailing List, for the husbands and wives of bisexuals. Similarly, a stay of any length in lesbian- or fat-related groups will lead you to the frolicsome web site of FaT GiRL, described elsewhere in this article. I've noticed an interesting phenomenon in sex-chat rooms: as often as people are in there getting down and dirty, they're having backyard-fence-type chats, swapping jokes and recipes along with propositions. Similarly, erotic talk springs up in the darndest of places. It's unpredictable -- but what do you expect when dealing with real people? You earthlings are kooky..
Web pagebianca's SMUT Shackhttp://www.bianca.comMost WWW pages feel like you're being assaulted by an automatic tennis-ball serving machine: the information comes fast and furious, and you have little opportunity to respond. But visiting bianca's SMUT Shack is more like taking part in a child-like mud-pie fight. There's very little "content" here, at least in the traditional sense: no catalogs of expensive products, no naked pictures, no news articles. Instead, dozens of interactive "rooms" provide a space for visitors to create their own fantastic content, whether it's scribbling witty graffiti on the bathroom wall, or leaving a sacrifice to bianca at the altar, or reading opinions about vibrators, or getting hot and heavy in the Bedroom. As in MUDs (Multi-User Dungeons -- see below), the focus is on instant interaction, and the SMUT Shack's programmers have done a marvelous job transferring the immediacy of chat to the static (but highly accessible) format of Web pages. You might have to make several attempts to get in -- the site is extremely popular -- but it's worth it. Don't be surprised if you spend all afternoon here!
This page was last updated on Monday, February 09, 2004 at 3:07pm CST. All contents copyright 2005 by Tom Geller.
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